Celestial Introspection Redux

Recent forum chat about astrology reminded me of this, so I figured I'd try it again, as I still find astrology weirdly interesting. Chart here is from astro dot cafeastrology dot com. Also, is it just me or do they talk about sex kind of a lot? Is... is this chart hitting on me?

Anyway, here you go (IYI). Text is copypasted from the website, with particularly "accurate"-seeming bits underlined, and particularly inaccurate bits struck out:

( Bullshit divination cut for your Flist convenience )