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In Which Outcomes are Assessed
Nov. 4th, 2009 09:12 amI woke up at 6 am today. I have no idea why -- I think I fell asleep around 1 -- but I'm awake now and I've been enjoying my unexpected extra hours of morning.
I guess my life is pretty good, generally speaking. I live in a cool flat with interesting people, I'm doing an internship about Genuinely Important Stuff, I have a job that is flexible and pretty fun, and I'm not working for anyone evil.* This is, upon reflection, pretty much exactly what I want to be doing with my life, at least for the time being. At least, given the paths I've taken so far; I am trying not to be wistful about the others. Besides, I think I'm finally recovered from getting spooked in April and falling into ennui after graduating, and am starting to ease myself back into activism. I'm not doing much (read: any) organising, but for now I'm happy enough just to be a body on the ground when needed.
Despite all this, I still often find myself tussling with an illogical, baffling melancholy. (So apologies, friends, if I am distant.) I'm worried about the onset of winter, and the ever-shorter days. At least I will be awake for all of it today, but I will spend most of that time indoors and out of the actual sunlight. I'm hoping that this winter will be easier than the others, but I have my doubts.
*There is a fantastic recurring sketch on the radio show 'That Mitchell and Webb Sound' in which various people are called in to have the usefulness of their jobs assessed by committee of little old ladies. The "workers" must explain what they do to the committee, which almost invariably finds them to be totally unnecessary and suggests that they go and open a little shop (with the exception of a plastic surgeon, who leaves with many apologies and the assurance that he will go and become a proper doctor now). Well, I do work in a little shop. It is quite nice!
I guess my life is pretty good, generally speaking. I live in a cool flat with interesting people, I'm doing an internship about Genuinely Important Stuff, I have a job that is flexible and pretty fun, and I'm not working for anyone evil.* This is, upon reflection, pretty much exactly what I want to be doing with my life, at least for the time being. At least, given the paths I've taken so far; I am trying not to be wistful about the others. Besides, I think I'm finally recovered from getting spooked in April and falling into ennui after graduating, and am starting to ease myself back into activism. I'm not doing much (read: any) organising, but for now I'm happy enough just to be a body on the ground when needed.
Despite all this, I still often find myself tussling with an illogical, baffling melancholy. (So apologies, friends, if I am distant.) I'm worried about the onset of winter, and the ever-shorter days. At least I will be awake for all of it today, but I will spend most of that time indoors and out of the actual sunlight. I'm hoping that this winter will be easier than the others, but I have my doubts.
*There is a fantastic recurring sketch on the radio show 'That Mitchell and Webb Sound' in which various people are called in to have the usefulness of their jobs assessed by committee of little old ladies. The "workers" must explain what they do to the committee, which almost invariably finds them to be totally unnecessary and suggests that they go and open a little shop (with the exception of a plastic surgeon, who leaves with many apologies and the assurance that he will go and become a proper doctor now). Well, I do work in a little shop. It is quite nice!
