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External Appearances and the Self
Apr. 13th, 2009 01:28 amI cut my hair the other day. I was frustrated, I guess, and wanted a change, so I decided to trim it back from shoulder-ish length to about chin-length, and put in some new layers.
...Except that, somewhere in the new-layers phase, things started to get uneven, and I had to keep chopping and slashing away -- and now my hair is really, really short. Like, doesn't-cover-my-ears short. Pixie short. Boy short. Cold-neck short.
Harry really likes it (and we all know it's what your man thinks that really matters!), and a few have complimented it, but I am not so pleased myself. I have nothing against short hair in principle, and had idly considered this style of cut on a few occasions, but I always decided against it. This was an accident. And it isn't me.
That's the real problem. I don't look like myself anymore. I keep catching myself in the mirror, and my shoulders are too broad, and my face is the wrong shape. My neck feels chilly all the time, and my ears look naked. I can almost feel the absence, like a phantom limb. It's never been like this before. I've had several drastic haircuts in the past -- I chopped about 2 feet of it off just before coming to uni -- but they've always been considered and deliberate. A concious shifting from one sort of intentional projection of image to another. This just feels like an injury, a casualty of confusion and mirrors and scissors, and haste.
I hope it grows back quickly.
...Except that, somewhere in the new-layers phase, things started to get uneven, and I had to keep chopping and slashing away -- and now my hair is really, really short. Like, doesn't-cover-my-ears short. Pixie short. Boy short. Cold-neck short.
Harry really likes it (and we all know it's what your man thinks that really matters!), and a few have complimented it, but I am not so pleased myself. I have nothing against short hair in principle, and had idly considered this style of cut on a few occasions, but I always decided against it. This was an accident. And it isn't me.
That's the real problem. I don't look like myself anymore. I keep catching myself in the mirror, and my shoulders are too broad, and my face is the wrong shape. My neck feels chilly all the time, and my ears look naked. I can almost feel the absence, like a phantom limb. It's never been like this before. I've had several drastic haircuts in the past -- I chopped about 2 feet of it off just before coming to uni -- but they've always been considered and deliberate. A concious shifting from one sort of intentional projection of image to another. This just feels like an injury, a casualty of confusion and mirrors and scissors, and haste.
I hope it grows back quickly.
