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I've been in a weird mood lately. Like I've withdrawn from the world. I feel like I'm floating, slipping, pulled along in the undercurrent and unable to surface.
I've spent most of this evening watching stupid television and trying to learn how to knit plaits. I've decided it's not wasting time: it's theraputic. The knitting is, anyway.
Following knitting patterns is very much an act of trust, especially with weird stitches like cables. They just look like they're going the wrong way until you're pretty far in--how many times did I have to resist taking out the stitches and turning around the slips?
Which, oddly enough, has me wondering about fate again. Not in the fun 'free will vs determinism' philosophical way, but in the psychics and astrologers sort of way. Most of the 'psychic' stuff out there is blatant bullshit, so vaguely worded that just about anyone could think it true for themselves. But my mum is pretty into the whole New Age scene, and one of her friends who 'talks to angels' told me something pretty specific that she said would happen in my second year at university. There's a month left of it, I suppose--and it's possible that it has already happened without my being aware of it. But I don't think so. I'm not even sure if I believe in any of this stuff. But the nice thing about fate is that if it is real, then it doesn't matter whether I believe in it or not; it will happen anyway.
Anyway, through this haze, a Good Thing has occured: my uncle has somehow managed to extract the music from my old computer (which could not write CDs or even read DVDs), and yesterday a pair of DVDs arrived in a small and glorious parcel, labelled 'Molly's Music Vol. I' and 'Molly's Music Vol. II'.
ETA: I had to look up the lyrics for the title of this entry (CCR, "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"), because to me it sounded like "mumble-forever mumble-goes, through the circle fast and slow". While I like the "'til forever on it goes" line, looking up the lyrics ruined the line that followed for me. The actual words are "it can't stop, I wonder", but I had always heard "it can't stop my wonder". I still prefer my words. The first is a banal meditation on the possibility of time and such to actually cease; my understanding was a simple statement: that observations of the world could never diminish my awe of it.
I've spent most of this evening watching stupid television and trying to learn how to knit plaits. I've decided it's not wasting time: it's theraputic. The knitting is, anyway.
Following knitting patterns is very much an act of trust, especially with weird stitches like cables. They just look like they're going the wrong way until you're pretty far in--how many times did I have to resist taking out the stitches and turning around the slips?
Which, oddly enough, has me wondering about fate again. Not in the fun 'free will vs determinism' philosophical way, but in the psychics and astrologers sort of way. Most of the 'psychic' stuff out there is blatant bullshit, so vaguely worded that just about anyone could think it true for themselves. But my mum is pretty into the whole New Age scene, and one of her friends who 'talks to angels' told me something pretty specific that she said would happen in my second year at university. There's a month left of it, I suppose--and it's possible that it has already happened without my being aware of it. But I don't think so. I'm not even sure if I believe in any of this stuff. But the nice thing about fate is that if it is real, then it doesn't matter whether I believe in it or not; it will happen anyway.
Anyway, through this haze, a Good Thing has occured: my uncle has somehow managed to extract the music from my old computer (which could not write CDs or even read DVDs), and yesterday a pair of DVDs arrived in a small and glorious parcel, labelled 'Molly's Music Vol. I' and 'Molly's Music Vol. II'.
ETA: I had to look up the lyrics for the title of this entry (CCR, "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?"), because to me it sounded like "mumble-forever mumble-goes, through the circle fast and slow". While I like the "'til forever on it goes" line, looking up the lyrics ruined the line that followed for me. The actual words are "it can't stop, I wonder", but I had always heard "it can't stop my wonder". I still prefer my words. The first is a banal meditation on the possibility of time and such to actually cease; my understanding was a simple statement: that observations of the world could never diminish my awe of it.
