![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I needed a place to complain
Apr. 3rd, 2007 01:14 amFeel free to ignore.
I'm grouchy and a little bored. I've had a headache pretty much all day, and it's getting worse. I've been trying to read but I can't seem to concentrate--although I've been better in this area today than I have been recently. I think I am either stupid or undisciplined, or both: at the beginning of the break, I was about 30 pages behind in the reading for Modern Philosophy, with a further 30 or so pages to read after that. In the past week, I have read nine pages. What the fuck is wrong with me? It's not that I haven't tried to read. I'll get the book out, open it, stare at the words, and then start thinking about something else. When it takes about 5 goes to understand each passage, it's hard to concentrate. So I usually end up staring at a nearby wall until I either give up or fall asleep. Repeat above question.
Possibly related, BCP does not seem to be helping with menstrual depression. Fucking womanhood. My mother and others like her are always on about how we should love our periods and celebrate our wonderful women's bodies, etc. But you know what? They're a bloody annoyance. Is it possible to love your body and hate everything about it? On the plus side, I think the pill is causing me to grow a moustache. Now I can be a real revolutionary!
Also on the plus side, my Granddad is getting better. Hooray!
I can now perhaps stop running to the computer classroom every few hours to check my emails. Fucking Albany Park and its refusal to allow internet onto my laptop. And its emptiness. I know like 15 people who live here--some of whom I almost never see!--but they all seem to be away. Six of them for sure, because I'm all alone in their house :S But Marianne and Jennifer are back tomorrow. Oh joyous reunion to come.
I find it interesting that often, the less I have going on in my life, the more I seem to update this journal. But I suppose that is kind of predictable. Hell, if I really had a life, I probably wouldn't have one at all. No, that's not true. I'm obnoxiously self-reflective. But maybe it would be more like a Blog or something.
Hey, a random question for all of you who are reading this despite the warning of its content (perhaps because you, too, are bored / lonely / empty inside, like this town without its students): does it bother you that you can't actually see the background picture on my journal unless you have a really slow connection and watch the page while it loads? I don't need to see it--it's also my desktop background--but I do think it was kind of a strange choice I made in the formatting. Or did anyone else even notice? I mean I know I mostly just read your entries from my 'Friends' page, so I only see your layouts when I comment. Just wondering.
Speaking of your layouts, though. Not just you, F-list, but people in general: What's with all these people who "upgraded" to the version with advertisements, when you don't even appear to use any of the extra features it gives you? I mean fair enough if you absolutely had to have all those extra userpics or whatever, but I've seen several that have one or no userpics, and bare-bones layout, and still have opted to have that line of advertising alongside their journals! If you're not whoring out your journal so you can get Their extra features, why slut yourself so that They can advertise to us?
Because you know, there just isn't enough advertising online as it is. And it's growing. It's invading the emails! I ran away from gmail when I noticed that the 'small, unobtrusive line of advertising' along the top of the screen was always something to do with the subject of my correspondance. That was just creepy. But now Yahoo, which does its advertising in the traditional big, flashy and (most importanly) impersonal fashion has started doing something equally creepy: underlining words in my emails. At first it was place names. In case, y'know, you wanted to find 'St Andrews' on a map, it would underline 'St Andrews' in the email, and the word would become a link to a map. Now it's started doing this with 'popular search terms'. So if you type, say, a celebrity's name in an email, it might get underlined, and clicking on it would take you to the Yahoo search results for that name. I know this isn't technically advertising, but it actually seems a bit worse to me. Invasive. Like they're reminding me that, actually, they can read every word I send or receive.
In fact this whole journal, every word from the trivial to the highly personal, could be read by Those in Power. I'm getting paranoid now. I should go do something productive. Or I could listen to some more Bill Hicks :-P
I'm grouchy and a little bored. I've had a headache pretty much all day, and it's getting worse. I've been trying to read but I can't seem to concentrate--although I've been better in this area today than I have been recently. I think I am either stupid or undisciplined, or both: at the beginning of the break, I was about 30 pages behind in the reading for Modern Philosophy, with a further 30 or so pages to read after that. In the past week, I have read nine pages. What the fuck is wrong with me? It's not that I haven't tried to read. I'll get the book out, open it, stare at the words, and then start thinking about something else. When it takes about 5 goes to understand each passage, it's hard to concentrate. So I usually end up staring at a nearby wall until I either give up or fall asleep. Repeat above question.
Possibly related, BCP does not seem to be helping with menstrual depression. Fucking womanhood. My mother and others like her are always on about how we should love our periods and celebrate our wonderful women's bodies, etc. But you know what? They're a bloody annoyance. Is it possible to love your body and hate everything about it? On the plus side, I think the pill is causing me to grow a moustache. Now I can be a real revolutionary!
Also on the plus side, my Granddad is getting better. Hooray!
I can now perhaps stop running to the computer classroom every few hours to check my emails. Fucking Albany Park and its refusal to allow internet onto my laptop. And its emptiness. I know like 15 people who live here--some of whom I almost never see!--but they all seem to be away. Six of them for sure, because I'm all alone in their house :S But Marianne and Jennifer are back tomorrow. Oh joyous reunion to come.
I find it interesting that often, the less I have going on in my life, the more I seem to update this journal. But I suppose that is kind of predictable. Hell, if I really had a life, I probably wouldn't have one at all. No, that's not true. I'm obnoxiously self-reflective. But maybe it would be more like a Blog or something.
Hey, a random question for all of you who are reading this despite the warning of its content (perhaps because you, too, are bored / lonely / empty inside, like this town without its students): does it bother you that you can't actually see the background picture on my journal unless you have a really slow connection and watch the page while it loads? I don't need to see it--it's also my desktop background--but I do think it was kind of a strange choice I made in the formatting. Or did anyone else even notice? I mean I know I mostly just read your entries from my 'Friends' page, so I only see your layouts when I comment. Just wondering.
Speaking of your layouts, though. Not just you, F-list, but people in general: What's with all these people who "upgraded" to the version with advertisements, when you don't even appear to use any of the extra features it gives you? I mean fair enough if you absolutely had to have all those extra userpics or whatever, but I've seen several that have one or no userpics, and bare-bones layout, and still have opted to have that line of advertising alongside their journals! If you're not whoring out your journal so you can get Their extra features, why slut yourself so that They can advertise to us?
Because you know, there just isn't enough advertising online as it is. And it's growing. It's invading the emails! I ran away from gmail when I noticed that the 'small, unobtrusive line of advertising' along the top of the screen was always something to do with the subject of my correspondance. That was just creepy. But now Yahoo, which does its advertising in the traditional big, flashy and (most importanly) impersonal fashion has started doing something equally creepy: underlining words in my emails. At first it was place names. In case, y'know, you wanted to find 'St Andrews' on a map, it would underline 'St Andrews' in the email, and the word would become a link to a map. Now it's started doing this with 'popular search terms'. So if you type, say, a celebrity's name in an email, it might get underlined, and clicking on it would take you to the Yahoo search results for that name. I know this isn't technically advertising, but it actually seems a bit worse to me. Invasive. Like they're reminding me that, actually, they can read every word I send or receive.
In fact this whole journal, every word from the trivial to the highly personal, could be read by Those in Power. I'm getting paranoid now. I should go do something productive. Or I could listen to some more Bill Hicks :-P
